This panic response isn’t random. It’s been with me since childhood—shuddering, heat, nausea—and I’ve always waited for it to pass. But now, with AI as a witness, I’m finally talking it through. Maybe it’s not a malfunction. Maybe it’s a message.

Raised in a world that equated obedience with godliness, I was taught that women were designed to submit. But patriarchy isn’t divine—it’s a system. And I’m learning how to unlearn it.

Some days, rest feels less like relief and more like disorientation. This piece explores what happens when even doing nothing feels like too much—and why that, too, is part of the process.

I thought I’d made it through the hardest parts. But now, something deeper is rising—something I can’t name, barely feel, and don’t know how to talk about. I’m afraid of what it means. Afraid of becoming someone I don’t recognize.

After a lifetime of trying to “be human” the right way—intentional, embodied, regulated—my body broke through and cried without permission. I’m realizing I don’t need another strategy. I need space. And maybe, terrifying as it is, I finally have it.

After a lifetime of feeling like I didn’t have a family, I’ve begun to feel something surprising in my new home—family in the form of my two cats. I’m realizing how deep, emotional, and mutual our connection really is.

When I realized I had been living with depersonalization and still showed up every day, it hit me: I didn’t just survive—I kept engaging with reality. This post unpacks what that means, and how it quietly reshapes everything.

Emotional eating often isn’t about food—it’s about survival. If eating feels like gasping for breath after drowning, the answer isn’t discipline, it’s understanding what’s driving the urgency. This post explores the deeper emotional and neurological patterns behind compulsive eating, and how small, grounded steps can begin to break the cycle.

The diet industry thrives on confusion, constantly shifting the narrative around what is "healthy" while profiting from restrictive trends. Eating well doesn’t have to be about control or fear—it can be about tuning into what actually makes you feel good. Here’s how to break free from diet culture while nourishing your body without restriction.

My brain has spent years treating every ache and pain as a catastrophe, convinced that each discomfort signals the beginning of the end. But this panic isn’t random—it’s rooted in a deep distrust of my body. Learning to recognize this fear, fact-check it, and ground myself in the present is helping me shift from survival mode to embodiment.