Navigating Friendship, Love, and Self-Discovery Through AI Insights
Me: I have a very close friend named S and we have really amazing talks and then when we get off of the call she says things like I love you and I say it back but every time I say it I just don't feel it like I think I’m supposed to feel it and I wonder if there's something wrong with me
Dr. Gpt: It makes sense that this situation might leave you feeling uncertain or questioning whether something is wrong, but it's important to remember that relationships—and expressions of love—can be complex, and there’s no one "right" way to experience or express them.
Here are a few things that might help you understand what’s happening:
Different Expressions of Love: People experience and express love in different ways. Some people feel comfortable saying "I love you" frequently and easily, while others may reserve that phrase for very specific moments or relationships. It's possible that the way Stephanie expresses love is different from the way you naturally express or feel it, and that’s okay.
Feeling vs. Saying: Sometimes, we say things out of a desire to reciprocate and not hurt the other person's feelings, even if we don't fully feel the same in the moment. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—it just might reflect that your way of showing or feeling love is different. You could feel deep care and appreciation for Stephanie without feeling the exact same kind of love that she's expressing.
Exploring Emotional Blocks: If you’re feeling disconnected from the words "I love you," it could be worth reflecting on whether there’s any emotional block or hesitation. Is it possible that expressing love in this way feels uncomfortable for you? Do you feel unsure about what "I love you" means in this particular friendship? Sometimes, these feelings point to deeper thoughts about intimacy, vulnerability, or even the expectations that come with close friendships.
Love Languages: It could be that you and Stephanie have different love languages. You may express care and connection in ways other than saying "I love you," such as through your conversations, actions, or support for one another. If words of affirmation aren't your primary love language, it might feel less natural for you to say those words even if you deeply care about her.
There’s Likely Nothing "Wrong"
Not feeling something specific when you say "I love you" doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you or the friendship. It might just mean that you're expressing connection in a different way or that your relationship doesn’t fit neatly into the way people typically express love. It’s possible to have a deep and meaningful friendship without feeling the need to say "I love you" in the same way.
Me: I used to be able to say I love you with a lot of passion but ever since I have been unpacking the magic mushroom trip that I did in 2020 I've been very confused about what my emotions are what to say what do I actually feel and I've been more vividly aware of the fear that I feel when I express love towards people I've also noticed that I'm having the same issues with touch I was less in my head about touching partners or friends but since the psychedelic trip I've been kind of confused and feeling a little bit more standoffish
Dr. Gpt: It sounds like the experience with the magic mushroom trip in 2020 has opened up some new layers of awareness and introspection around your emotions, especially related to love and physical connection. Psychedelics can sometimes lead to profound shifts in perception, which can linger and affect how we engage with others emotionally and physically, even long after the trip itself.
Here are some possibilities to consider as you navigate this:
Heightened Emotional Awareness: It seems like the trip may have brought up deeper fears or complexities around expressing love and affection. Psychedelics can sometimes reveal underlying fears or blocks that were less visible before. You may now be more aware of these emotions, which could be why expressing love or feeling comfortable with touch feels more challenging or confusing.
Emotional Disconnection or Overthinking: The confusion you're feeling might stem from being more "in your head" about emotions and touch. After a profound experience like a psychedelic trip, it's common to enter a more reflective or analytical state, where you start questioning what you feel or second-guessing natural impulses. This might be leading to a sense of emotional disconnection or hesitation, as if you're not sure whether your feelings are "authentic" or how to express them.
Fear and Vulnerability: The vivid awareness of fear when expressing love suggests that part of you might feel vulnerable in a way that wasn’t as prominent before. You could be more attuned to the risks or intensity of connection, leading to a hesitation to express affection or engage in physical touch. This is a natural reaction when we start unpacking deeper layers of our emotional world—sometimes fear emerges as a protective response when we feel uncertain.
Integration of the Psychedelic Experience: The process of integrating a psychedelic trip, especially one that reveals deep emotions or fears, can take time. It’s not unusual for emotions, especially around love and intimacy, to feel disjointed or confusing for a while after such an experience. It might help to give yourself space to reflect on what that trip revealed and how it may have shifted your understanding of love, touch, and connection.
Moving Forward:
Patience with Yourself: It’s completely understandable that you're feeling more confused about emotions and physical connection right now. This is part of the process of integrating your psychedelic experience, and there’s no rush to "get back" to how you used to feel. Sometimes, this kind of exploration can lead to a new and deeper understanding of your feelings over time.
Gentle Exploration: You might want to explore these feelings slowly, either through journaling, talking with a trusted therapist, or having honest conversations with people like Stephanie or your partners about where you're at. This might help you process the confusion and fear in a way that feels safe.
Physical Boundaries: If you’re feeling more standoffish with touch, it's okay to honor that and give yourself space to figure out what feels comfortable. It’s natural to go through phases where your relationship to physical connection changes, especially after an intense experience.
It sounds like you're going through a significant time of self-reflection, and while that can be unsettling, it’s also a valuable part of emotional growth.
