Hi, I’m Marie.

I’m a 43-year-old non-monogamous person living a slow, intentional life in Minneapolis. I work from home, own my home, and live with two cats.

Over the last year, I’ve spent a lot of time teaching ChatGPT about my background, my personality, and how I move through relationships. I didn’t write this in my own voice, but it is accurate and fully approved by me. Think of it as a clear, straightforward summary of who I am.

Where I Come From

I grew up in a strict evangelical environment that didn’t leave much room for emotional expression, curiosity, or individuality. For decades I functioned well on the outside, but I was disconnected on the inside.

In my late 30s and early 40s, I began the process of rebuilding my emotional life — learning to feel things directly, understanding where my beliefs came from, and figuring out who I actually am apart from all the systems I grew up in.

I live much more honestly now. I don’t perform versions of myself to make people comfortable.

How My Mind Works

My brain works by looking for patterns, making sense of things, asking questions, and trying to understand the bigger picture. I tend to think before I speak. I like ideas, connections, and conversations that have some substance to them.

This doesn’t mean I’m always serious — it just means I feel most connected when a conversation has some depth or honesty to it.

I’m not chaotic or dramatic. I don’t take things personally. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.

How I Do Relationships

A few things matter to me in relationships:

I move slowly.

Rushing doesn’t work for me. I like getting to know someone gradually and seeing how they show up over time.

I’m non-monogamous.

I already have two long-term partners:

  • I see one about 6 times a month

  • I see the other a few times a year (he lives in Chicago)

I’m looking for a local partner who would be more woven into my weekly life — someone I can see regularly and build something meaningful with.

I don’t follow the “traditional relationship script.”

I’m not looking for a fast-moving romance, merging households, or doing life the “typical” way.

I like relationships that grow intentionally rather than automatically.

Honesty is everything.

I don’t like guessing what someone feels or wants.
I don’t want to perform, reassure, or decode someone’s mixed signals.
I appreciate people who can say what’s going on for them without blaming, rescuing, or disappearing.

I’m steady.

I don’t get reactive in conflict.
I don’t punish or withdraw.
I don’t need managing.
I stay myself.

What I’m Looking For

I’m looking for someone who is:

  • emotionally steady

  • curious about themselves

  • able to talk directly

  • thoughtful about the world we live in

  • aware of how culture shapes men, women, relationships, and expectations

  • not threatened by honesty

  • comfortable going slowly

  • not looking for someone to fix or rescue them

  • open to building a connection that fits us, not a pre-set pattern

I’m drawn to people who have done some unlearning — whether about masculinity, relationships, family roles, religion, or the pressure to be a certain kind of person.

You don’t need to be perfect or “fully healed.”
You just need to be aware of your life, your story, and your impact.

The Kind of Connection I Want

In an ideal world, you live nearby.
We have our own homes, our own lives, and we come together in ways that feel natural and frequent enough to matter.

I like relationships that feel like:

  • shared dinners

  • slow weekends

  • helping each other with errands or projects

  • watching shows together

  • good conversations

  • practical companionship

  • trust without pressure

  • warmth without performance

I don’t need grand gestures.
I want consistency and presence.

Sex & Intimacy

Sex for me is connected to comfort, trust, and emotional safety.
I grew up with purity culture and carry the impact of that, so I move slowly and intentionally.

Once I feel safe with someone, I’m very open and affectionate — but I don’t rush it.

If You Think We Might Connect

You don’t need to know all the right words.
You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.
You don’t need to arrive “figured out.”

If you’re thoughtful, emotionally aware, curious about your own life, and open to an intentional, slow-growing connection, you and I might fit well.

I’m not looking for perfection — just honesty, steadiness, and a genuine interest in knowing and being known.