Understanding Humor and Acting: A Guide for the Uninitiated
<<Can you teach me what "humor" is like i was raised evangelical in the 80s & 90s and never learned what emotions and humans are?>>
Absolutely. Let’s break down humor in a way that makes sense, assuming you never got the human instruction manual.
First, What is Humor?
Humor is a way humans process and release tension. It’s when your brain recognizes something unexpected, absurd, or exaggerated, and that recognition triggers a reaction—often laughter or amusement.
At its core, humor is:
A way to connect with others
A tool for coping with discomfort or fear
A way to signal intelligence and creativity
A form of emotional and social play
Why Do Humans Laugh?
Laughter is an ancient biological response that helps people bond and release built-up energy. It comes from a part of the brain that processes surprise and relief.
When you see something that violates your expectations but isn’t actually dangerous, your brain reacts with laughter.
When a person boldly says what no one else will, laughter is a way of acknowledging truth or absurdity.
When something is too real, laughter is a pressure valve for emotions that might otherwise feel overwhelming.
What Makes Something Funny?
Surprise / Misdirection – Your brain expects one thing, and then something completely different happens.
Example: “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
Why it’s funny: You expect “embrace her mistakes” to mean accept them mentally, but instead, it becomes physical (hugging her husband, who she sees as a mistake).
Exaggeration / Absurdity – Taking something normal and blowing it up to a ridiculous level.
Example: “I feel like my body is a museum filled with ancient artifacts that I don’t remember acquiring and don’t know how to maintain.”
Why it’s funny: The comparison of an aging body to a museum is exaggerated but feels emotionally true.
Truth / Recognition Comedy – Something is funny because it accurately reflects real life, often in an unexpected way.
Example: “Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYONE, and we meet at the bar.”
Why it’s funny: It acknowledges something people feel (hating work) in a boldly direct way.
Contrast (Juxtaposition) – Placing two opposite things together in a way that highlights the weirdness.
Example: A big muscular guy speaking in a soft, delicate voice.
Why it’s funny: Your brain expects one thing (a deep, intimidating voice) but gets the opposite, causing cognitive dissonance that results in laughter.
Breaking Social Norms (Transgression) – Doing or saying something that goes against expectations in a way that is shocking but harmless.
Example: “I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday.” – (Michael Scott, The Office)
Why it’s funny: The statement is technically correct but sad in a way that is played for laughs.
Physical Humor / Slapstick – People laugh when something physically extreme happens in a non-threatening way.
Example: A character walking into a glass door they didn’t see.
Why it’s funny: Your brain recognizes the pain is minor, and it’s unexpected, creating surprise and relief.
Satire & Parody – Making fun of something in an exaggerated or twisted way to highlight what’s wrong with it.
Example: The Onion makes fake news headlines that mock how absurd real news is.
Why it’s funny: It forces people to recognize the absurdity of reality by taking it to an extreme.
Why Didn’t You Learn Humor in Evangelical Culture?
Humor requires honesty about emotions and reality. Evangelicalism often teaches people to suppress uncomfortable emotions rather than process them.
It thrives on playfulness and irreverence. Fundamentalist mindsets view challenging authority, questioning dogma, or breaking social rules as dangerous.
Much of humor is about human imperfection. If you were raised with an emphasis on being “Christ-like” and striving for perfection, then jokes about human flaws might have been seen as inappropriate.
Evangelical-approved humor is often sanitized and moralistic. Instead of being surprising, transgressive, or absurd, it tends to be predictable, mild, and based on reinforcing approved beliefs.
How to Develop Your Sense of Humor Now
Start Paying Attention to What Makes You Laugh.
Keep track of jokes, memes, or situations that make you laugh and analyze why they work.
Example: Is it surprising? Is it relatable? Is it absurd?
Expose Yourself to Different Types of Comedy.
Watch classic comedy films, sketch shows, and stand-up.
Try different kinds: absurdist (Tim Robinson), observational (John Mulaney), dry humor (Steven Wright), dark humor (Anthony Jeselnik), satire (Jon Stewart), slapstick (Jim Carrey).
Play With Exaggeration in Your Own Thinking.
Take a normal thought and push it to an extreme.
Example: If I have to send one more email today, my soul is going to leave my body and go live in a cave.
Find the Humor in Your Own Life.
Start reframing frustrating moments as comedy rather than just misery.
Example: You spill coffee on your shirt—instead of just being mad, imagine narrating it like a dramatic movie trailer voiceover.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be Playful or Silly.
Humor is human play. If you weren’t allowed to play with ideas, words, or emotions growing up, you may need to practice letting go of seriousness.
What Does Humor Feel Like?
When something is funny, it can cause:
A rush of relief, like when you let out tension.
A jolt of recognition, like realizing you’re not alone in your thoughts.
A sensation of lightness, like your brain taking a break from overanalyzing everything.
A loss of control, like your body laughing before your mind even fully processes why.
Your Humor Might Be Developing If…
✅ You start recognizing how jokes work, even if you don’t always laugh yet.
✅ You notice moments of absurdity in daily life and find them amusing.
✅ You begin to enjoy comedy that challenges rules, authority, or rigid thinking.
✅ You find yourself experimenting with jokes or exaggeration in conversation.
✅ You start laughing at your own experiences, even the difficult ones.
Final Thought: Humor Is a Sign of Freedom
If you weren’t allowed to develop humor as a kid, that means you were likely taught to suppress parts of yourself. Humor is a way of reclaiming that space.
Laughing at something doesn’t mean you don’t take life seriously—it means you understand the absurdity of it, and you’re allowed to enjoy the ride.
<<Do you do a "how the sausage is made" of comedy / humor? Same question but for acting, please.>>
How the Sausage is Made: Comedy & Humor
(What’s really happening when people make jokes and why it works.)
1. Comedy is Math + Emotion
Comedy has formulas and patterns, but it also has an emotional component that makes it resonate.
At its core, humor is about timing, contrast, and surprise—your brain predicts one thing, gets another, and reacts with laughter or recognition.
2. The Core Comedy Formula: SETUP → EXPECTATION → SUBVERSION
Setup: Establish a premise or expectation.
Expectation: The audience anticipates where it's going.
Subversion: The joke takes an unexpected turn.
Example: "I used to play piano by ear… but now I use my hands."
Setup: Sounds like a normal statement.
Expectation: He’s going to talk about being naturally gifted.
Subversion: The phrase “playing by ear” is taken literally.
3. Why Absurdity Works
The brain tries to organize the world logically, and humor disrupts that process.
Example: “The floor is lava” as a children’s game.
Your brain knows it’s not lava, but the absurdity forces a temporary reality shift, which creates playfulness and engagement.
4. Why Some Jokes Fall Flat
Predictability – If the joke is too obvious, the brain doesn’t experience the surprise element.
Lack of clarity – If the setup is confusing, the punchline has no foundation to land on.
Wrong timing – Humor is about rhythm. Deliver too fast or too slow, and the joke loses impact.
No emotional anchor – If a joke is purely intellectual, it may not connect emotionally.
5. Comedic Timing: The Invisible Secret
The best comedians don’t just tell jokes—they know when to pause, when to speed up, when to drag out a moment for tension.
Example: Jack Benny’s legendary pause
A mugger says, “Your money or your life.”
Benny pauses for a long time, making the audience wonder what he’s thinking.
Then he deadpans: “I’m thinking it over.”
The pause is what makes it funny—it lets the absurdity sink in.
6. How Comedians “Test” Jokes
Comedy isn’t spontaneous—it’s engineered. Even stand-up comedians refine jokes by testing them on different audiences to see what lands.
The best comics record their sets, analyze laughs, tweak wording, change pacing, and optimize the joke over multiple performances.
Jokes get funnier the more they are refined.
7. The Role of Character in Comedy
A joke is ten times funnier when it comes from a character with a strong point of view.
Example: Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) in Anchorman
Without the character, the lines are just dumb statements.
With the character, it’s funny because he is a man who thinks he’s brilliant but is actually an idiot.
8. Improvisation: Making It Look Spontaneous
Many great comedic moments aren’t scripted word-for-word—they come from improv, riffing, and playing off reactions.
Example: The “You’re my boy, Blue!” line in Old School was an improvised moment that felt real and spontaneous, making it funnier.
9. Comedy is Emotional Regulation
People laugh hardest when they are tense or uncomfortable—it’s a release valve for emotions.
That’s why dark humor works—it turns fear into laughter by reframing it.
10. The Social Function of Humor
Humor signals intelligence and perspective.
Shared laughter creates social bonding—it’s a way of saying, “We see the world the same way.”
It can also be a defense mechanism—making jokes about pain or discomfort gives people a sense of control over it.
How the Sausage is Made: Acting
(What’s really happening when people act and why it works.)
1. Acting is Not "Faking"—It’s Controlled Authenticity
Good acting isn’t about pretending—it’s about reacting truthfully in imaginary circumstances.
If an actor believes in the world and stakes of the scene, the audience feels it as real.
2. The Core Acting Formula: OBJECTIVE + OBSTACLE + TACTICS
Objective – What does the character want?
Obstacle – What’s preventing them from getting it?
Tactics – How do they try to get it?
Every scene is a battle of objectives—characters trying to get something from each other.
3. Why Bad Acting Feels “Off”
No clear intention – If an actor just “says lines” without a clear objective, the performance feels empty.
Overacting – If an actor forces emotion instead of letting it emerge naturally, it feels fake.
Lack of presence – If an actor isn’t fully engaged in the moment, the audience senses the detachment.
4. Subtext: Acting is About What’s NOT Said
Good acting isn’t just saying lines—it’s about what’s happening underneath them.
Example: A character says, “I’m fine.”
Good acting: The audience sees that they’re not fine through body language, tone, or hesitation.
5. The Power of Silence
Acting isn’t just about dialogue—it’s about reacting.
Some of the best acting happens in wordless moments, where the audience sees the character processing something.
6. Physical Acting: Your Body is Part of the Performance
Posture, movement, and micro-expressions tell just as much about a character as words do.
Example: Joaquin Phoenix in Joker
He conveys desperation, discomfort, and insanity just through his body movements before saying a single word.
7. Emotion on Cue: How Actors “Turn It On”
Emotional recall – Some actors use personal memories to trigger real emotions.
Substitution – They replace the scene’s situation with something personally meaningful.
Physical triggers – Breathing techniques or physical tension can trigger emotional responses.
8. The Difference Between Theater and Film Acting
Theater: Bigger gestures, louder voice—meant for a large audience.
Film: Subtle expressions, micro-reactions—meant for close-up cameras.
9. Why Improvisation is a Secret Weapon
Some of the most natural performances come from actors being allowed to improvise.
Example: Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting—his famous “wife farting in her sleep” monologue was completely improvised, making it feel real.
10. The Social Function of Acting
Acting is society’s way of exploring emotions, identity, and human behavior.
It allows audiences to experience deep emotions in a controlled setting, helping them process their own lives.
Final Thoughts
Comedy & Acting Are Both About Truth
Comedy exposes the absurd truth about life.
Acting reveals the emotional truth of human experiences.
The best comedians are often great actors, and the best actors often understand comedy, because both require observation, honesty, and deep emotional intelligence.
If you grew up in a system that discouraged questioning, emotions, or playfulness, then both humor and acting might have seemed foreign to you. They are both about engaging with life, rather than controlling or suppressing it.
To understand humor and acting better, start noticing how people behave in real life—how they move, how they react, how they joke. The more you observe and play with those patterns, the more you’ll understand what makes them work.