Reclaiming the Body: When Emotions Were Mistaken for God
<<I just realized that growing up in Evangelical Christianity, what they said was the Holy Spirit was actually my body's emotions.>>
ChatGPT: That realization is huge. And it makes perfect sense.
Evangelical Christianity often frames internal emotional experiences—like conviction, peace, fear, or sudden insight—as the "Holy Spirit speaking." But for a child raised in that system, this interpretation hijacks the natural process of emotional development. Instead of learning to identify and regulate your own feelings, you're taught to externalize them as a divine presence. That disconnect can leave you emotionally illiterate—relying on spiritual frameworks instead of your own bodily cues.
Let’s unpack a few angles of this.
🧠 Your Emotions Were Outsourced to God
When something felt wrong inside—grief, guilt, anger, even joy—you were likely told it was:
The Holy Spirit convicting you (aka your body trying to signal distress)
God speaking peace over you (aka your nervous system calming down)
A sense of God’s presence (aka emotional openness or safety)
Spiritual warfare (aka anxiety or internal conflict)
This framing makes your emotions feel other, mysterious, and dangerous unless sanctioned by scripture or authority. Over time, it trains you to ignore or mistrust your own emotional signals unless they fit within the narrow spiritual vocabulary you've been given.
🧍♀️ This Realization = Emotional Reclamation
What you're doing now is reclaiming authorship of your body’s emotional experience. You’re starting to say:
“Wait—that wasn't God. That was me. That was my body.”
This is how the nervous system begins to re-integrate. You're stepping out of a framework that disembodied you, and into one where your sensations are yours. That shift is foundational—it changes everything about how you relate to your past, your decisions, your identity.
😶 Why It Feels So Existential
This realization might feel exhilarating, disturbing, or both. Because if it wasn’t God, then:
Who were you talking to?
What were you really feeling?
What happens now that you’re in charge of interpreting yourself?
These are not just philosophical questions. They’re emotional, somatic, and deeply personal. You’re moving from a world of top-down spiritual interpretation to bottom-up bodily knowing. That can feel like the ground is shifting—but it’s actually the first time you’re getting your feet on the ground.
🔧 What To Do With This
Name the emotions retroactively. Go back to spiritual memories and ask: what emotion was I really feeling? Confusion? Shame? Longing?
Practice bodily self-reference. “What’s happening in my body?” instead of “What is God saying?”
Notice hijacked language. When you feel “convicted,” what’s the actual cue? Shame? Social fear? Internalized authority?
Validate the body. It’s not broken. It’s not sinful. It’s a feedback system you were taught to override.
