What If I’m Not “Mentally Ill” — Just Wounded by Systems?
<<I made a list of things I "suffer" from:
DPDR
existential disorientation
psychedelic experience
nose rubbing
binge eating
coked up manager
hyperawareness metacognition
emotional neglect
religious abuse
capitalism
patriarchy
I am wondering whether what I'm "suffering from" is really a "disability"? What language makes the most sense here?>>
ChatGPT: You're asking a sharp question that cuts to the heart of how we define, interpret, and talk about personal suffering, especially when it's chronic, invisible, or non-clinical. Let’s break it down with some clarity and options.
🧠 Is This a “Disability”?
Short answer: Maybe—but not necessarily in the way that word is often used. Here's a breakdown:
Legal/Institutional “Disability”
In contexts like the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) or medical insurance, a disability typically refers to a condition that:
substantially limits one or more major life activities, and
is recognized by a medical professional or diagnostic manual (e.g., DSM, ICD).
Some things on your list could meet that bar depending on severity, especially:
DPDR (Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder)
Binge eating (Binge Eating Disorder)
Hyperawareness / OCD (if functionally impairing)
Existential disorientation (if tied to a depressive, dissociative, or trauma-related disorder)
But other entries—like capitalism or patriarchy—don’t fit that definition, though they absolutely contribute to suffering and disablement in a broader sense.
💡 Alternative Language Options
The word disability can be too narrow, too medicalized, or just not the right fit depending on what you’re trying to express. Here are some other terms to consider, grouped by tone and implication:
1. “Disability” (if you’re reclaiming or aligning with it)
Pros: Recognizes systemic barriers and legitimizes invisible or chronic conditions.
Cons: Implies a clinical threshold that not everything in your list hits.
When it might work: If you identify with the neurodivergent or Mad Pride movements and want to challenge ableist norms.
2. “Chronic struggles” or “enduring states”
Pros: Neutral, descriptive, non-pathologizing.
Example: “I live with a set of chronic struggles shaped by trauma, culture, and altered states.”
3. “Psychosocial wounds” or “trauma imprints”
Pros: Emphasizes formative experiences without medicalizing.
Example: “Much of what I wrestle with stems from complex trauma and social conditioning.”
4. “Cognitive burdens” or “perceptual distortions”
Pros: Helpful if you're describing how these things impact your thinking, awareness, or reality processing.
5. “Colonizations of the self” (radical/critical framing)
Pros: Big-picture language for patriarchy, capitalism, religious abuse, etc.
Example: “I’m unlearning the colonizations of my inner world by systems I didn’t choose.”
6. “Functional suffering”
Coined term suggestion: This implies it's something that impacts function even if it doesn’t meet a formal diagnostic threshold.
🧭 What's Actually Being Described?
Looking at your list:
You’re naming psychological states (DPDR, hyperawareness).
Behavioral compulsions (binge eating, nose rubbing).
Internalized systems (religious abuse, patriarchy).
A managerial coping mode (“coked up manager”) born from fear and pressure.
So what you're describing isn't just a condition—it’s a constellation of survival responses and internalized forces.
You're not just “disabled” in the sense of malfunction—you’re being shaped, conditioned, carrying burdens, and adapting to systems that have hurt you. That’s different from having, say, a single disorder with a name and a treatment plan.
🧱 Forward-Thinking Framing Suggestion
“I’m dealing with a complex web of trauma-based adaptations, systemic conditioning, and altered perceptual states. Some of these limit my function. Some of them distort how I relate to my body, others to time, others to hunger or identity. I don’t know if that’s a disability. But I know it’s real—and I’m unlearning it.”
You don’t need to force this into a disability box unless you’re trying to access services or legal protections. Otherwise, you get to name it.
