Movement as Memory: Why Trauma Lives in the Body
<<You know that scene in Dying For Sex where she starts dancing/moving to express what her childhood sexual abuse feels like in her? Can you tell me more about this? I keep reading that dance is helpful for trauma but my evangelical background sees that and red danger lights flash, talking about being possessed, crazy, being moved by the holy Spirit. I don't understand this behavior as natural and human outside of how evangelicals express the holy Spirit when they dance. How the fuck would I be able to dance out what I feel???>>
ChatGPT: You're asking the exact right question: what is this kind of movement when it's not religious, mystical, or pathological? What is it actually, in real human terms? Let’s strip this down and reframe it in language that’s yours, not your evangelical upbringing’s.
🧠 First: Why “dance” helps trauma, from a grounded, scientific view
Trauma isn’t just stored in thoughts — it gets trapped in your body’s physiological responses. Your muscles, breath, posture, and nervous system all learn patterns of tension and shutdown.
Movement accesses what words can’t. Language lives in the thinking brain. But trauma lives in the primitive parts: brainstem, limbic system, nervous system. Moving—especially in instinctive or spontaneous ways—helps unlock patterns that talking never will.
You are not performing. You’re not “doing a dance.” You’re allowing your body to do what it wants to do. That could be:
shaking
stomping
collapsing
flailing
curling into a ball
rocking
slow swaying
or screaming while pounding the floor.
This is not possession. This is discharge.
Your nervous system is trying to complete something it never got to complete. Like the impulse to run, fight, push away, scream, or escape—frozen in place during trauma.
⚡ About that scene in Dying for Sex
When she starts moving and dancing to express what the childhood sexual abuse feels like inside her, it’s not “dancing” like you know it from performance or religion. It’s a raw physical expression of a trapped truth.
It’s her body telling the truth in movement—not in language.
That movement might be awkward, ugly, rhythmic, jerky, fluid, sexual, restrained, chaotic. It’s not choreographed. It’s not “possessed.” It’s what her body knows that she hasn’t been able to say out loud.
🛑 Why evangelicals panic at this
You were taught that powerful physical expression must be either spiritual (God/Holy Spirit) or dangerous (demonic/possessed). There was no neutral human category. So when you feel the impulse to move from deep inside yourself, your trauma-trained brain goes:
“ALERT. We’re not allowed to feel this. This means we’re out of control. We’re being moved by something else.”
But here’s the truth:
💥 It’s not something else. It’s you.
This is your own internal signal trying to complete an unfinished pattern. It’s not madness or mysticism. It’s a biological recovery process.
🧍♀️ So how do you start “dancing out” what you feel?
You don’t start with dance. You start with:
Safety
Close the door. Know no one’s watching.
Remind yourself: “I am not performing. I’m not crazy. I’m letting my body speak.”
Permission
Put on music that matches your mood or just silence.
Say: “Body, what do you want to do?”
Start small
Wiggle your fingers.
Shift your weight.
Let your shoulders drop.
Let your breath move your body.
Let movement emerge
Don’t force it.
If tears come, let them.
If laughter, let that.
If stillness, trust it.
This might not feel like “dancing” at all. It might feel like releasing or responding or returning to yourself.
👣 Final truth
What you’re talking about is deprogramming your body from a religion that pathologized your humanity.
What evangelicalism called “crazy” was often just honest.
What it called “possessed” was often traumatized.
And what it called “holy” was sometimes a trauma discharge mistaken for God.
You don’t have to call it spiritual. You don’t have to make it beautiful. You just have to let yourself move and notice what it unlocks.
<<Okay thanks but I am still not getting it. This language about the body expressing what it wants to and talking to the body about what it wants to do... I am still feeling resistance to that. I imagine it's because I'm disconnected from my body. I'm not closed to engaging with this I just need better cognitive scaffolding to allow my mind to release and connect with this body thing you keep telling me about.>>
Got it—and thank you for saying that so directly. You don’t need poetic metaphors or "listen to your body" vibes. You need a bridge between your intellectual self and this unfamiliar, irrational-seeming physical realm. Let’s build it.
⚙️ What Is Actually Happening in the Nervous System?
Let’s set aside the woo. Here’s what’s literally going on when someone “moves out” trauma:
1. Trauma = Stuck Fight/Flight/Freeze Response
When you're in danger and can’t escape (like a child being abused), your body fires up to flee, fight, or freeze. But if you're overpowered, those impulses get interrupted and stored.
It’s like a car revving its engine while stuck in park. The impulse to act doesn’t get to complete.
2. The Body Stores the “Incompleted Action”
That energy—bracing, tightening, twisting, collapsing—doesn’t vanish. It just gets shelved in your nervous system as chronic tension, numbing, or compulsions.
Think of it as a paused download that never resumed. The files are corrupt, incomplete, but still taking up space.
3. Spontaneous Movement = Finishing the Download
When people shake, flail, cry, rock, or curl—especially during trauma work—they’re not “being dramatic” or “channeling spirits.” They’re completing an interrupted survival action from years ago.
That’s why it can look bizarre. It’s pre-verbal, primal, chaotic, non-narrative. But biologically speaking, it’s completion of a feedback loop that got jammed.
🧱 Cognitive Scaffolding You Can Use
You’re not “asking your body what it wants.”
You’re saying: “I know there’s a stuck loop in here. I’m letting my system reboot through motion that doesn’t have to make sense to me yet.”
👁 Thought Experiment: Why Animals Don’t Get PTSD
Ever see a gazelle escape a lion, then shake violently all over? That’s trauma discharge. They shake to reset their nervous systems. Then they move on.
Humans? We get socialized to sit still, act normal, and never let anything look “weird.” So the impulse to scream, thrash, freeze, collapse? It stays stuck.
Moving in weird ways isn’t regression or chaos. It’s repair.
🧬 Science You Can Trust Here
Peter Levine studied how animals don’t get PTSD and developed Somatic Experiencing to mimic their natural discharge patterns in humans.
Bessel van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, shows brain scans where trauma shuts down the language center but activates the motor and emotion centers.
Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains how movement affects vagus nerve tone, which regulates safety, social engagement, and shutdown states.
🛠 A Better Way to Start Than “Dance”
Let’s not call it dance. Try this instead:
“What small, weird, instinctual movement would I do if no one could see me, I didn’t have to explain it, and it didn’t have to look good?”
That’s your nervous system trying to recalibrate. It could be:
pushing your hands into a wall
shaking one leg
stomping while clenching your fists
letting your spine curl and roll
laying on the ground and rocking side to side
Don’t “ask your body.” Just notice what starts to happen when you stop trying to look normal.
