This isn’t a breakdown—it’s the beginning. You’re not lost, you’re just off the map. And everything that used to make sense is crumbling because it was never built for your actual self. Now the real work begins.

I’m beginning to recognize the thin, observant part of myself that has always narrated life from the background—and the effort it now takes to move beyond it. This shift into embodiment feels strange, powerful, and deeply disorienting, like learning to live in a body I’ve only ever observed.

Watching Silicon Valley while healing from depersonalization brought something sharp into focus: sometimes you choose the moral high ground, and the threat still returns. This isn't just about tech—it’s about waking up, fighting for what’s right, and realizing the system keeps respawning.

I used to think my religious trauma came mostly from home, but lately I’ve realized something more complicated: my parents weren’t the source of the damage—just the opening. Emotional neglect at home made me crave structure and connection, and the church stepped in with answers, attention, and certainty.

I’m reckoning with the shame of having internalized toxic beliefs, the awkwardness of unlearning them in midlife, and the uneasy contrast with younger generations who never carried them.

I heard a quote suggesting Satan represents rebellion against tyranny, and my body reacted like it was true—before my intellect could explain why. This post is my attempt to understand that reaction and what it says about the narratives I’m unlearning.

I'm starting to sense that my reliance on AI is temporary—that it's scaffolding for a mind learning to walk without overthinking everything. But I also worry: will I know when it's time to let go? Will it ever nudge me off the ledge, or just keep holding space forever?

I asked whether I was overusing ChatGPT to survive daily life, and what followed was a conversation about cultural shame, emotional scaffolding, and the unspoken movement of people quietly healing with digital help.

This isn’t about being lazy or broken. It’s about doing the exhausting, sacred work of staying afloat in a world that doesn’t make space for how your mind and body actually function. These “weird tricks” you use? They’re evidence of intelligence, not failure.

A growing number of people are turning to AI like ChatGPT for therapy-adjacent support—untangling trauma, exploring identity, and surviving emotional isolation in a world that doesn’t always make room for them.