My parents didn’t verbally abuse me or reject me outright. They acted kind, provided for me, and gave me freedom—but they also left me to raise myself emotionally. I grew up without guidance on relationships, self-understanding, or navigating life outside their worldview. Now, I’m realizing how much that absence shaped my sense of invisibility and confusion about who I am.

Growing up in evangelicalism meant thinking within rigid, pre-approved frameworks. Now, as an exvangelical, you're reclaiming your ability to question, analyze, and trust your own reasoning. This guide explores how fundamentalism shaped your thought processes and provides practical steps to develop critical thinking skills that may have been suppressed or underdeveloped.

Growing up with evangelical beliefs meant filtering out science. Now, I'm rediscovering the basics of the universe—its age, origins, and our place in it—with fresh eyes.

Self-recognition rituals help counteract the feeling of being unseen by making you the one who acknowledges yourself. These simple yet powerful practices create moments of affirmation, grounding, and emotional care in everyday life.

A childhood icon, a legendary comedian, and a human being who—like all of us—poops. This realization, first a humorous thought experiment and later confirmed by a documentary, became an unlikely but profound grounding mechanism. When reality feels surreal, sometimes the most stabilizing truth is the most basic one: even the greats return to their bodies.

I’ve noticed that when I play music, my brain fixates on making sure the sound is balanced—not too heavy in my right ear, not too dominant in my left, but perfectly centered. It turns out, this isn’t just about sound. It’s about how my brain seeks equilibrium in all aspects of awareness, embodiment, and perception.

In the depths of depersonalization and derealization, I found myself recording conversations with my parents—without understanding why. Looking back, I now see it was my way of anchoring to reality, preserving proof of interactions that felt unreal. This piece unpacks the psychological layers behind that instinct and what it reveals about my past.

After years of searching for the origins of my disconnection, I’ve realized it wasn’t something that began suddenly—it was always there. My experiences of attraction, relationships, and embodiment have been shaped by dissociation from the start. This shift in understanding changes everything, and now, I’m learning how to integrate it into my present self.

After uncovering deep existential truths, waking up can feel like stepping into an unfamiliar reality. The struggle as you knew it has shifted, but your mind and body are still adjusting. This phase isn’t about more searching—it’s about letting new awareness settle and finding a way to live with it.

Not everyone is ready to question reality, and that’s okay. Some people naturally lean toward existential awareness, while others avoid it at all costs. Learning to recognize where someone is—and supporting them accordingly—can help you foster deeper connections without forcing awareness onto them.