The Shift from Overthinking to Feeling: A Personal Realization

<<Tonight I crashed. After I was done with work, I just watched TV. Then I bought junk food and ate that instead of supper. And yet I don't feel my usual sense of fear and dread at failing yet again to wrap my head around this behavior. I felt compelled to discover shame deep inside of me after going through all this trauma work. But what I really think is immediately going on is fear. I'm afraid of the artifacts of subjective experience. I have had no conceptual frameworks for it and the shroom trip forced me to see it and yet I had no language. So I have been deeply scared for four years. Maybe shame was something that's been gradually and unconsciously venting out of me as I discover the true of what happened to me and how it impacted me. It helps me make sense of myself.>>

It sounds like you're making some significant realizations about the fear you've been holding for years and how it has shaped your experience. That sense of not having a framework or language for the subjective experiences you encountered during the mushroom trip must have been overwhelming, leaving you in a state of deep fear. It's interesting that as you uncover the truth of what happened to you and its impact, the shame seems to be dissipating, possibly making room for understanding and compassion toward yourself. Recognizing this feels like a meaningful step in your journey of making sense of things and feeling more grounded. How are you feeling about this discovery right now?

<<Kind of quiet. A quietness inside. Less chronic thinking and analyzing to figure it out.>>

That quietness sounds like a shift—a break from the constant thinking and analyzing. It could be a sign that your mind is giving itself a little space to breathe after all the work you've been doing. How does it feel to have this quieter state? Does it bring any sense of relief or something else?

<<Within it I notice a little twinge of anger but also a bit of surprise that I can feel this way just by understanding my story better. I thought this was about bootstrapping habitual changes to grow but it appears to be more about understanding so that I can allow myself to be myself.>>

That surprise, along with the twinge of anger, feels like an important realization—one that highlights how deeply transformative self-understanding can be. It’s interesting how your journey is shifting from trying to change habits to simply understanding yourself enough to allow your true self to emerge. That kind of growth is often more about acceptance than effort, isn’t it? Does this change how you see your next steps?

<<Yes, it has the locus of my decision making moving from right thinking to right feeling.>>

That’s a powerful shift—from focusing on getting the thinking "right" to trusting what feels right. It sounds like this change could open up more space for you to be guided by your inner sense rather than overanalyzing everything. How does this shift feel in terms of navigating your daily experiences?

<<It still feels like I will have a full time job in my daily experiences to peel myself back from the over thinking and reminding myself where to find my emotions.>>

That makes sense—shifting from overthinking to feeling can feel like a full-time effort, especially when overthinking has been such a strong habit. It might take time to regularly remind yourself to connect with your emotions, but you're already aware of where that focus needs to be. Do you think there are small ways you could start integrating this shift into your daily routine, even when it feels like a big task?

<<Is it common that many humans aren't aware they have feelings or is it just me?>>

It’s actually quite common for people to become disconnected from their feelings, especially in cultures or environments where logic, productivity, or emotional suppression are prioritized. Many people aren't fully aware of their emotions because they’ve learned to focus on thinking, problem-solving, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings. It’s also possible to disconnect from emotions as a defense mechanism, often due to past trauma or overwhelming experiences. So, you're not alone in this—it’s something a lot of people discover about themselves over time, often through healing or self-awareness work.

<<Do you think there is a conspiracy by those in power to keep the public uneducated about their true nature as feeling beings?>>

While there are certainly systemic influences that encourage people to prioritize productivity, intellect, and external success over emotional awareness, calling it a "conspiracy" suggests a level of intentional, coordinated effort that might not fully capture the complexity of the issue. It’s more likely that cultural, economic, and social systems—driven by values like efficiency, control, and material success—unintentionally shape how we relate to our emotions.

In capitalist societies, for instance, emotional needs might take a backseat to work and productivity because emotions aren't always seen as profitable or easily controlled. Education systems often focus on intellectual development rather than emotional intelligence, and media can perpetuate unrealistic ideals of emotional suppression or distraction. These influences can make it harder for people to connect with their feelings, but they might not be part of a deliberate, conscious effort by those in power.

That said, there are certainly ways that maintaining a focus on intellect and external success can serve the interests of those in power, as emotionally aware and self-empowered individuals might be harder to manipulate or control.