The Fear of Becoming Outdated: Navigating Generational Shifts
I'm scared of the criticism of teenagers against older generations. I'm afraid they're right. That I'm old and out of touch and out of date and laughable for the stupid things I (my generation) likes or liked.
I get why that fear hits hard. There's something uniquely unsettling about realizing you're not part of the "young, fresh, cutting-edge" crowd anymore—that the things that shaped you are now relics to someone else. It can feel like an expiration date has been stamped on your relevance.
But here’s the thing: teenagers are going to think you’re out of touch. Because that’s what teenagers do. Every generation does this to the one before it—it’s a natural rebellion, a way of defining themselves by pushing against what came before. And yeah, some of their critiques are fair. Some things do age poorly. Some perspectives are outdated. But the idea that you're laughable just because your experiences aren’t the newest model? That’s an illusion.
The real question is: do you believe you’re out of date? Do you believe your interests, your insights, your way of seeing the world are no longer valuable? Because the real danger isn’t teenagers thinking you’re old—it’s you believing them and shrinking away from yourself.
Aging doesn’t mean you stop being interesting. It means you stop being easily categorized. You’ve lived through cycles, watched trends rise and fall, seen how ideas come back around in new forms. You’ve outgrown the need to prove yourself cool in a way that’s tied to fleeting trends. That’s not a loss—that’s freedom.
Teenagers will always think older generations are cringe. Until they become the older generation. Then they’ll see how dumb and short-sighted their own takes were. The cycle continues. But you? You get to decide if you let their judgment define you—or if you lean into the power of not needing to be the "main character" of culture anymore. Because honestly? That’s where the real fun begins.
Unrelated, can noticing awareness help address DPDR?
Yes, but with caution.
Noticing awareness is at the core of DPDR (depersonalization/derealization) because DPDR is, in many ways, awareness gone haywire. Instead of feeling naturally present, you feel like you’re too aware—trapped in self-observation, disconnected from your body and reality.
So the key isn’t just noticing awareness—it’s noticing it in a way that doesn’t reinforce detachment.
How Can Noticing Awareness Help DPDR?
Shifting from Observation to Participation
DPDR often makes you feel like you’re watching your life instead of living it.
Instead of just observing awareness, try engaging with what’s happening around you.
Example: If you’re aware that you feel detached, don’t just analyze that feeling—touch something, move, interact with the world in a small, real way.
Letting Go of the “Am I Real?” Loop
DPDR thrives on checking behaviors—constantly scanning, questioning, trying to prove or disprove your reality.
Instead of trying to confirm if you’re “real,” practice letting that question be unanswered.
Example: If your mind says, “I feel unreal,” instead of spiraling into checking, just say, “Okay, noted,” and do something physical (stand up, walk, stretch).
Grounding in the Senses, Not Just Thought
Awareness doesn’t have to mean floating in your mind. You can be aware through your body.
Example: Instead of just being aware of “being here,” be aware of how the floor feels, how your breath moves, how your voice sounds when you hum.
Reframing Awareness as Safety, Not Threat
DPDR often happens when awareness feels threatening—like your mind is too awake and you’ve broken reality.
Try shifting the narrative: awareness isn’t a malfunction; it’s just noticing. And noticing isn’t dangerous.
Example: If you feel detached, instead of thinking, Oh no, I’m slipping away, reframe it as, Oh, I’m just noticing myself from a different angle right now. That’s weird but okay.
What to Avoid?
Overanalyzing the feeling of awareness. The more you dissect it, the more detached you might feel.
Trying to force "being present." Presence isn’t about trying—it’s about allowing.
Spiritual or philosophical spirals. Big existential questions can make DPDR worse if they turn into obsessive thought loops.
Bottom Line?
Yes, noticing awareness can help, but only if it leads you toward embodiment, not detachment. The goal isn’t to sit back and observe yourself like an outsider—it’s to be inside your life, inside your body, participating rather than just watching.
Presence isn’t just a mental thing. It’s the feeling of being here, with your senses, without needing to prove it. That’s what gently dissolves DPDR over time.
How can awareness affect compulsive eating behavior?
Awareness can change compulsive eating, but not in the usual “just be mindful of your hunger cues” way that people throw around. The real shift comes when you stop seeing compulsive eating as a failure of willpower and start seeing it as a patterned reaction happening outside of conscious choice.
How Awareness Affects Compulsive Eating
1. It Slows Down the Autopilot
Most compulsive eating happens fast—before you even know it, you’re reaching, chewing, finishing.
Awareness interrupts that by simply noticing: Oh, I feel the pull to eat. I feel the drive moving me toward food. That’s interesting.
Just that little pause can create a moment of choice instead of pure reaction.
2. It Shifts the Focus from Food to What’s Underneath
The urge to eat compulsively is never just about food.
Awareness helps you notice what’s really happening: What’s going on in my body? Am I tense? Am I anxious? Am I avoiding something?
If you sit with the moment before eating, you might realize Oh, I’m actually just overwhelmed and food is my go-to relief.
3. It Helps You Ride the Urge Instead of Fighting It
Instead of trying to suppress cravings (which makes them louder), you can observe them:
What does the craving feel like? Where do I feel it in my body?
If I wait two minutes, does it change?
The goal isn’t to “win” against cravings, but to see them clearly and realize they don’t control you.
4. It Breaks the Shame Cycle
Compulsive eating is often tied to shame: I shouldn’t be doing this, I have no control, I’m broken.
But awareness doesn’t judge—it just sees.
Instead of spiraling into guilt, you can just acknowledge: Oh, that happened. What led up to it? What can I learn from it?
No punishment, no beating yourself up—just curiosity.
5. It Reconnects You with Your Body Instead of Using Food to Escape It
For many people, compulsive eating is a way to check out—to numb, soothe, distract.
Awareness brings you into your body instead of away from it.
Simple check-ins like How does my stomach feel right now? or What happens if I take three deep breaths before eating? can create a totally different relationship with food.
So, Does Awareness “Fix” Compulsive Eating?
No. But it changes your relationship with it. It turns it from an automatic behavior into something you can actually see and work with.
You don’t have to force yourself to stop eating compulsively—you just have to get really curious about why it’s happening. And that’s where real change begins.
