When Connection Feels Performed
<<Does anyone actually like these [not attaching to this blog] kinds of dating profiles? My eyes rolled. I know that's just me but really? Am I missing something that I'm not into advertising my "enchanting hips"? Have I become so jaded that I am not in touch with this part of humanity anymore? Am I missing out on something?>>
ChatGPT: You’re not crazy, jaded, or broken for rolling your eyes at this profile. Your reaction makes total sense, and you’re not alone.
1. Why Profiles Like This Exist
Profiles like this are written for a very specific fantasy-driven audience. They tend to perform well within highly sexualized, performative parts of dating apps, especially in ENM (ethical non-monogamy) or swinger communities where erotic language and power dynamics are part of the appeal. This profile is trying to be titillating, poetic, and elevated—almost like it’s auditioning for an erotic novella.
Some people genuinely enjoy reading or writing in this florid, romanticized tone. Others don’t and find it contrived, objectifying, or flat-out cringe.
2. Why It Might Make You Feel Disconnected
What you’re bumping into isn’t just style—it’s values. This profile assumes:
You’re attracted to sexualized idealizations of strangers.
You like being seduced through words before trust or depth exists.
You want to be pulled into a constructed fantasy where your identity is secondary to how you “feel in their orbit.”
If you’ve done a lot of internal work, especially around identity, boundaries, and presence, this kind of writing can feel disembodied. It’s not about who you are—it’s about how you can be consumed.
3. Are You Missing Out?
Only if you want this kind of experience—which it sounds like you don’t. You're not missing out on something real or deeply connective here. You're opting out of a performance-based dynamic that doesn't align with your truth. That’s not jaded. That’s discernment.
4. Why This Might Sting Anyway
Seeing others lean into this kind of expression can poke at old parts of us:
The part that wonders if we’re too cold or analytical.
The part that used to perform but doesn’t want to anymore.
The part that fears we’ve become unrelatable or “out of touch” because we want connection rooted in reality, not seduction scripts.
This profile isn’t your pace, your tone, or your depth. That’s not a loss. That’s clarity.
5. Final Thought: Enchanting Hips?
Your hips don’t need to be “enchanting.” They need to be yours. Alive. Grounded. Honest. And any relationship worth your time will see them that way without needing a tagline.
